Teddies & Choc
Wednesday, papa?
It was the last thing I always asked my father at the end of his weekly visits since he left. He would reply ‘yes baby’ and show up the following week. I was content, at least he showed up just as he promised and brought me something every time. He would sit with me on the porch and watch with interest and excitement as I read the events he had missed from my little diary. He would say ‘well done’and ‘oh wow’ at intervals. It made me so happy. My mother never sat with us,spoke to him or offered anything, but she always watched from the window. She came out at 7pm,when he was ready to leave. It was to make sure he never ran off with me.
Sometimes he would go into the house to pick some of his stuff and it would go from a simple question to an argument and then a full blown fight. Usually he would find out my mother had discarded some of his stuff. On those days, I would close my eyes really tight and count from one till it stopped. One time, I counted to 200. The last fight they had was because he wanted me to go with him for a couple of weeks. I really wanted to but when my mother asked me, I said no. He knew i wanted to. Sometimes, I knew what he was thinking just by looking into his eyes, and on that day he was looking into mine. After this, he finally stopped coming in and we made the porch our permanent meeting space.
Wednesday, papa?
No baby, he replied,held my face and kissed my forehead. I asked him why with my eyes, but he looked away. I’ll wait here, I whispered and patted the platform we sat on. I looked into his eyes that evening and refused to believe what I saw.
He had entered the house as soon as he arrived, I didn’t hear anything because I started counting as soon as he went in. There was no noise or packing,it was strangely quiet and I counted on.
97,98,99,100…
He didn’t storm out as usual and my mother didn’t throw a shirt or shoe. She was in tears instead and held a white sheet. I was confused, I wanted the noise because I didn’t like the change. I didn’t want anything new, I was content with sitting on the porch and telling him about school and my friends. He looked sad too, he wasn’t smiling. I should have known everything was about to change as soon as he arrived. He didn’t hug me, pat my hair or kiss my head. He also didn’t bring me a gift,something he never forgot.
Why? I asked.
He’s moving away with his new family, my mother replied in a teary voice. I had never seen her cry but I didn’t understand why she was crying. He had been away for several months but showed up every Wednesday. I looked confused and turned to him for an explanation.He had already started walking away, he didn’t say goodbye.
I am going to sit on the porch every Wednesday at 4:30pm with my little diary till he shows up. This time, with a gift for me as usual.
